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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27605099">It's the way that I feel when I, when I hold you close</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenjaemrens/pseuds/Serendipity'>Serendipity (jenjaemrens)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, Childhood Friends, Childhood Friends to Lovers, Confessions, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, Only slight angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 01:34:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,570</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27605099</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenjaemrens/pseuds/Serendipity</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>If you asked Sakusa Kiyoomi when he fell in love with Miya Atsumu, he wouldn’t be able to give you an answer. He thinks he’s been in love with Atsumu long before he knew what love even was.<br/>However, if you asked him when he realized he fell in love with Atsumu, then he’d say it was when they were 16 and sitting on the engawa sipping on hot cocoa. </p>
<p>Or, the story of Miya Atsumu and Sakusa Kiyoomi as they grow up and fall in love.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>225</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>It's the way that I feel when I, when I hold you close</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is PURELY for Em and Carla who listened to me ramble on about a fluffy childhood sakuatsu au because I've been craving fluffy sakuatsu childhood bffs for SO LONG.<br/>Anyways, this is the product of that.<br/>The title is from 'Invisible Things' by Lauv. Carla always comes through with the songs!<br/>Aight as usual, author warns that her grammar is crap so please ignore the mistakes thanks!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>If you asked Sakusa Kiyoomi how he befriended Miya Atsumu, he’d say he was practically forced into the situation.   </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyoomi and his mother had moved to Hyogo when he three. A single mother doing her best to provide for her son, which often led her to work long shifts. It leads to Kiyoomi befriending the Miya twins, his next-door neighbors whose house he stayed over after school when his mother would be too busy to pick him up. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn’t mind being left there to play with the Miya twins. Atsumu and Osamu were loud, but it was nice to be with them. They were nice to him and even played with Kiyoomi despite him being labeled as a ‘cold and rude’ kid. Even as a child, Kiyoomi never cared how others viewed him. He said things as they were and, if people thought that was rude, then it really wasn’t his fault, was it? </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>But he wasn’t alone.  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>No, Kiyoomi had Atsumu. Atsumu was brash and loud. Nobody wanted to be close to the boy who would glare at them when they played. They were the loners. They didn’t care because they had each other. They were only five, but they knew that Miya Atsumu and Sakusa Kiyoomi were bound to be by each other’s side forever.  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Miya Atsumu was Sakusa Kiyoomi’s first friend. He was the person who accepted Kiyoomi’s weird habits. He never laughed at him (except for whenever Kiyoomi would slip and fall), never got mad at him (only when Kiyoomi beat him in video games), and never left him behind. Atsumu was the one who tugged him along to volleyball practice, insisting that Kiyoomi would enjoy it despite him protesting that he never likes any physical activities. Atsumu made Kiyoomi fall in love with volleyball from the very first spike his friend had set for him. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hyogo was home to Kiyoomi. It was the summers in Hyogo that he remembered the most when he watched the twins fight over who gets to sit in front of the fan, all the while Kiyoomi was the one sitting in front of it and munched on a candy. It was teaming up with Osamu to beat Atsumu at video games so that Atsumu would have to go to the corner shop to get ice cream for the three of them. Although, Kiyoomi would frequently join him on his trips whenever Atsumu would grumble too much. Playing volleyball outside in their backyards, passing the ball from one person to another, and then switching to spiking when Osamu would walk away and leave them behind. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was the winters in Hyogo that were special and warm to him as he would curl up beside the twins under the </span>
  <em>
    <span>kotatsu </span>
  </em>
  <span>or eagerly sip the hot cocoa their mothers would make for them. It was sneaking out with the twins past their bedtime when their mothers thought they were asleep to stargaze despite knowing absolutely nothing about the stars.  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hyogo would always be his home. Even as he left it behind when he was ten, moving six hours away from the city, that was his whole world.  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The day Kiyoomi leaves Hyogo, the sky was grey. It seemed to fit the morose expression on the faces of the Miya twins as they watched the last of their friend’s luggage being loaded into the car. They had already said their goodbyes last night when Kiyoomi was allowed to stay over at theirs. Their mothers had even allowed them to stay up late to play games or do whatever they wanted to do as long as they stayed inside and didn’t cause too much of a mess.  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>It didn’t change the fact that none of them were happy about Kiyoomi moving away. There were no tears from Kiyoomi. Osamu looked upset but it was Atsumu who was crying. He was always the one crying among the three of them. It was nothing out of the ordinary for them. Kiyoomi did what he always did when Atsumu cried, he simply ignored it, which may sound mean, but Kiyoomi and Osamu had learned early on to ignore Atsumu’s never-ending tears.  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn’t think he would cry. Kiyoomi was never the emotional one. There was no reason for him to cry. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Up until he had gotten into the car and Atsumu called out for him. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Omi, I promise we will play volleyball again one day! And you’ll always be my best friend! And you’ll always be the most important person to me!” Atsumu shouted. “Even more than Samu!” </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyoomi hadn’t realized he was crying till his mother handed him a handkerchief and patted him on his head gently. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sakusa Kiyoomi had left Hyogo when he was only ten with a promise in his heart that he would one day play with his best friend again. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>One would think that a distance of six hours might change friendships that were formed so young. That was not the case for Kiyoomi and Atsumu. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Promises were kept of calling and texting each other frequently. Kiyoomi’s day would start with texts from Atsumu complaining about Osamu and ends with even more complaints from Atsumu about everything. They’d visit when they could, which wasn’t often as their cities were miles away from each other. Picked up each other’s call as soon as they could, even if it was three a.m. in the morning, and Atsumu had abruptly woken up to the shrill sound of his ringtone because Kiyoomi's having a panic attack. Badgering Kiyoomi with texts and calls whenever he was stuck doing homework, asking for help because ‘Osamu is an ass and refuses to help me Omi!’ </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyoomi did have friends. He had Motoya and Osamu. He was close with both of them, and he texted Osamu as often as he could. Yet everyone knew that what Atsumu and Kiyoomi had was special. Theirs was a bond that no one could come between. It was always them, and others were allowed to look but never touch.   </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Atsumu was the only one allowed to stand beside Kiyoomi whenever he’d hide from the crowd at Nationals and InterHigh. Atsumu was the only one allowed to touch Kiyoomi. Kiyoomi was the only person Atsumu was significantly less of an asshole too. Kiyoomi was the only one who could temper him down whenever he was raging on about something. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>They argued as any pair of best friends would. But they never stayed mad at each other for long. They simply couldn’t stay mad at each other for too long. They’d never go past a day of talking to each other. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Besides, how could Kiyoomi stay mad at the boy he loved? </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>If you asked Sakusa Kiyoomi when he fell in love with Miya Atsumu, he wouldn’t be able to give you an answer. He thinks he’s been in love with Atsumu long before he knew what love even was. Maybe it was when Atsumu had wiped the swing before Kiyoomi sat on it. Maybe it was when Atsumu had taught him volleyball. There could be so many reasons. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>However, if you asked him when he realized he fell in love with Atsumu, then he’d say it was when they were 16 and sitting on the </span>
  <em>
    <span>engawa </span>
  </em>
  <span>sipping on hot cocoa. He looks at Atsumu eyes shining as he gushed on about his new team and, he realized he loved him. He loved this boy who looked so beautiful even with the god-awful piss colored hair he had.  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sakusa Kiyoomi was in love with Miya Atsumu.  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was in love with him when he was a child, and he was in love with him now. He'd probably love him forever. This love was built on years of friendship, trust, and rivalry. How could he ever let go of it?  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>High school years were filled with training at Itachiyama for every national competition. Kiyoomi knew what he wanted in life, and he had dedicated himself to it. Nonetheless, Kiyoomi was aware that athletes don’t have long careers. He could play until he was 40, but one day he’d have to quit. It was that thought that made him decide to pursue a college degree.   </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘It’s a backup,’ He says. ‘Just in case something happens.’ </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>His mother had approved of his decision. She agreed with him that having a degree was a good choice to fall back on if something happens to him while playing volleyball. Osamu and Motoya had approved of it as well. They said it was a smart choice, and if that was what he wanted to do, then he should do it. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Atsumu disapproved of it. It was perhaps the first time they argued as terrible as this. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s my decision.” Kiyoomi had said firmly. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Atsumu scoffed. He was mad at Kiyoomi for choosing college over the pro league. They’d both been offered opportunities right after High School graduation. Atsumu had already told him he was going to pick Black Jackals. He had expected Kiyoomi to do the same because it had always been a silent agreement that they would play together in the future.  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>This was a rather unwanted interference in Atsumu’s plan.   </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Weren’t we supposed to play together? Then why are you leaving me?”   </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyoomi knew Atsumu’s reluctance to accept his decision stemmed from his insecurity of being left alone. Osamu had announced less than a year ago that he had no intention of joining the pro league. It left Atsumu devastated. But Kiyoomi would not let this stop him from pursuing what he wanted to.  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I will play with you. I’m just asking for a few more years.”  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was a terrible fight. One that resulted in Kiyoomi and Atsumu ignoring each other for days, something that they never did, until Motoya had forced Kiyoomi to call Atsumu.  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re miserable without him.” </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was miserable without Atsumu, but Kiyoomi was a stubborn and proud boy. Too stubborn to admit he missed his best friend and too proud to apologize. Yet he relented and texted Atsumu. It didn’t take long for them to be just as they were again. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>That was how it was with Atsumu and Kiyoomi. They fought one day then be back together the next day just as they always were. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Regardless of whether or not Atsumu approved of his decision, which he didn’t, he promised he would be there for Kiyoomi whenever he needed him. And he was there for him. When Kiyoomi was stressing over assignments Atsumu was there for him trying to calm him down and reassure him that he was doing okay. He was there for him after every game to tell him that he watched his games and tell him how he did so well as well as criticize his setter.   </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘I could be so much better.’ </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyoomi rolled his eyes, but he never denied Atsumu’s claims. He knew that Atsumu was the better setter. Atsumu could do so much better. Additionally, just as Atsumu had said that he’d be there for him, he, too, tried to be there for him as much as he can. He’d watch every single game of MSBY Black Jackals, even going as far as to attend the games whenever they took place in Tokyo. It didn’t matter if he had exams the day after or an assignment to turn in. Kiyoomi would always be there for Atsumu. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>When people asked him where he would go after college, he’d say Black Jackals. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But you’ll probably get an offer from Adlers!” </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I am going to Black Jackals.” </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Because where else would Kiyoomi go to if not by Atsumu’s side? Besides, it was already decided years ago that Atsumu and Kiyoomi would always be by each other’s side. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Kiyoomi gets named the collegiate MVP, Atsumu is the first one to congratulate him. When Black Jackals loses against Adlers, Kiyoomi is the first one to call Atsumu.   </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyoomi graduates from Waseda and makes his way to Black Jackals. It was open tryouts, and Kiyoomi was aware that he didn’t need to go through it. He was so excited about joining the team, and, </span>
  <em>
    <span>finally</span>
  </em>
  <span>, play with Atsumu again after years. Those few days at the Youth Camp were proof of how Atsumu and Kiyoomi fit each other. They were going to be the best duo.   </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He sees Atsumu standing by Bokuto with a wide grin on his face. He looked so excited. Just as excited as Kiyoomi felt. He waited for the coach to give out instruction before Atsumu approached him.   </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Told ya I’d set for you one day.” Atsumu grins. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>But it’s not Kiyoomi he looks at. It’s at the shorter boy beside him with orange hair. Kiyoomi frowns when he sees Hinata Shoyo grin at Atsumu, his eyes glimmering as he greets Atsumu. Nevertheless, Kiyoomi soon disregarded that comment when the spiking drills had started. Kiyoomi observed the other spikers jumping up and spiking down Atsumu’s sets. Atsumu had a smile on his face, but Kiyoomi could tell he wasn’t impressed.  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>When it was </span>
  <span>Kiyoomi’s</span>
  <span> turn </span>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span> had looked over his shoulder, looking straight at </span>
  <span>Kiyoomi</span>
  <span> with a smirk on his face. He had known </span>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span> long enough to see the challenge on his face.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Impress me.’ He seemed to say. ‘Show me that you’re good.’</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyoomi</span>
  <span> replied to him by running up the court and jumping high, slamming the toss down as hard he could. A hush fell on the entire court as everyone looks over at the duo, impressed and a bit wary. </span>
  <span>Kiyoomi</span>
  <span> landed back down on the ground, his heart pounding as he looked to his side to see </span>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span> was grinning at him. </span>
  <span>Kiyoomi</span>
  <span> mirrored that grin.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Promptly after, Kiyoomi was heaving his luggage across the corridor to the apartment he was moving into. Atsumu stood in front of the doorway with a huge smile but made no move to help Kiyoomi with his belongings. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>What an ass. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The apartment provided by the Black Jackals was clean enough for Kiyoomi to have no problem living there. It had a functioning bathroom, a well-stocked kitchen (since it was his first day), a living room, and two bedrooms. He had known that he was going to be sharing an apartment with Atsumu.  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>It didn’t matter to Kiyoomi. A part of him had known for a long time that he was willing to spend however many years, even the rest of his life, with Miya Atsumu.  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He thought it would be easy. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn’t expect the difficulties that came with being in Atsumu’s life like this. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyoomi had a pretty picture in his mind about being on the Black Jackals. A strong team that would help him defeat Wakatoshi-kun. A team that, according to Atsumu, was filled with people who’d accept him for who he was, no questions asked. An eventful yet peaceful life doing what he loved with the man he loved by his side. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had forgotten that being in such proximity to Atsumu also meant that he’d have to bear witness to every single of his flings. Sometimes, they’d be there after a game, a pretty smile on their face as they waited for him. Other times, Atsumu would bring them along to the after-game celebrations with the team. Kiyoomi hated the ones that fell in the latter the most.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He hated how they’d giggle and look at Atsumu, all starry-eyed and smitten. He hated how their cheeks would flush every time Atsumu leaned in to whisper something. What he resented the most was how Atsumu would separate from them, tugging whoever was with him for the night along with him as they went their own way. As if it wasn’t bad enough that he’d have to see Atsumu walking back in the next morning with his wrinkled t-shirt and messy hair, he’d have to listen through all of it too.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyoomi had known his feelings weren’t requited. He’d accepted it ages ago when Atsumu had told him about his crush on his captain from the Inarizaki team. It had made Kiyoomi feel bitter and angry. The result was him aiming every serve at the captain, Kita Shinsuke, the next time he saw him on the court. It was uncalled for. It wasn’t his fault. But Kiyoomi was only 17 back then.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was no longer the same boy. He wouldn’t let his jealousy ruin things. He was </span>
  <span>Atsumu’s</span>
  <span> friend first. He’d listen to everything </span>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span> would say. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Besides, </span>
  <span>Kiyoomi</span>
  <span> knew </span>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span>. He knew that new and shiny things always excited him, but he’d grow bored of them soon. No matter who he went on a date with it never changed the fact that the flings only lasted briefly. Most importantly, </span>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span> never brought any of them to their home. Their home remains a place for just the two of them. Lounging on the couch together as they watch volleyball matches and eat takeout, or opening the balcony door and letting the cold winter air in as they wrapped a blanket around themselves and sipped on hot cocoa as if they were children again.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>But </span>
  <span>Kiyoomi</span>
  <span> didn’t let his feelings stop him. He had gone on dates with a few people. Though his record never reached as high as </span>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span> or Hinata, the latter who was always enjoying the company of a new person every few days, </span>
  <span>Kiyoomi</span>
  <span> enjoyed the few dates he had. Some of them, he even thought he could have something more with.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>It never worked out. Not for the lack of effort on his part. No, it was something else. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Atsumu hated every single person Kiyoomi dated. He’d go out of his way to bother them during every date. Once, he called Kiyoomi in a panic, shouting that he accidentally set something on fire in the kitchen, which led to Kiyoomi leaving his date to rush back to the apartment. The fire was thankfully put out, but their toaster was destroyed, and Atsumu was banned from stepping into the kitchen for a whole month. It also resulted in Kiyoomi being, in simple words, dumped.  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Every time.” he had said. “This happens every single time. He calls, and you run back. Last time it was him claiming he was bleeding. It was a paper cut. And now it’s this. I’m not asking you to put me first but do you even consider me anything to you Kiyoomi-kun?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>That wasn’t the first time it happened. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>One person he dated claimed that he mostly talked about Atsumu. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s like all you want to do is talk about him. I get it he’s your best friend, but I want to hear about you!”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Another one claimed that they couldn’t handle </span>
  <span>Kiyoomi</span>
  <span> prioritizing Atsumu every time.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I want to be with you, but I can’t be with someone who will always prioritize his best friend over me.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyoomi</span>
  <span> bears through it every time. He does it until one day when he’s on a date with this nice boy who works at the local coffee shop </span>
  <span>Kiyoomi</span>
  <span> gets his coffee from and he gets a text from </span>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span> claiming that it was important. He apologizes to his date as he rushes home, worried about what had happened only to see </span>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span> holding up two tubs of ice cream and grinning at him.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyoomi</span>
  <span> had never gotten mad at </span>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span> to the point of screaming at him. Despite his rather pleasant (please do note the sarcasm here) behavior, </span>
  <span>Kiyoomi</span>
  <span> had never been mad at </span>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span> about anything that would make him scream at him.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>That night was the first time Kiyoomi had screamed at Atsumu.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I ran all this way because you sent an SOS! I thought you were hurt! You said it was important!”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <span>Well,</span>
  <span> I wanted to hang out with you! Isn’t that important? Am I not important?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyoomi</span>
  <span> wanted to rip out his hair in frustration. He had ignored </span>
  <span>Atsumu’s</span>
  <span> childish behavior at every turn. He was now tired of it. He was tired of it hurting. He was tired of being hurt constantly because he has to see the </span>
  <span>one</span>
  <span> he loved kiss someone else. He was so tired, and he wanted to be happy too.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just want to be happy!” He screamed. “Why won’t you let me be happy? Why are you so adamant about pulling me back every time I think I finally have the chance to not love you anymore?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>That stuns </span>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span>. </span>
  <span>Kiyoomi</span>
  <span> could see </span>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span> pull back in surprise, looking at </span>
  <span>Kiyoomi</span>
  <span> as if he was someone he didn’t know.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” </span>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span> finally says. “What did you say?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I said I am in love with you. I’ve loved you for so long but I am exhausted. Loving someone isn’t supposed to hurt like this. But if this is what it means to love you then I don’t think I want to love you anymore.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why did you never tell me?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyoomi</span>
  <span> looks at him tiredly, “We’ve known each other since we were children. You always said you knew me better than I knew myself. I thought I wouldn’t have to.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyoomi</span>
  <span> trudged to his room, locking the door shut behind him and then falling on his bed.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>On the other side, </span>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span> stands frozen in shock. He doesn’t realize that he had left the apartment until he sees his brother’s scowling face snapping at him and asking why he was here so late. He stopped when he really looks at him. Something about </span>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span> must have made him realize that his brother wasn’t here for annoying him like he usually did. Osamu led him in and allowed him to sleep in the extra room.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He only questioned </span>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span> when they were both eating breakfast.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>If he had expected any sympathy from his brother then he was wrong. Osamu had looked at him as if he was an idiot. He even outright called him an idiot claiming that he really was the one who got the brains out of the two of them.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re in love with him.” Osamu says.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not!” </span>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span> protested. “He’s my best friend and-”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Rin is my best friend.” Osamu cuts him off. “and we are still together.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But that’s different.” </span>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span> argued. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How is it any different?” Osamu asked, looking very irritated. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Because really, how are Osamu and Suna any different? They too were best friends. They too had this bond that no one could get between. And they were in love.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>But </span>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span> would have known if he was in love with </span>
  <span>Kiyoomi</span>
  <span> wouldn’t he? Love was supposed to be bright and burning. It was supposed to make your world look more alive and consume you. It was supposed to be something more, wasn’t it?</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Look,” Osamu sighed. “it’s very simple. Who do you see by your side in 10, 20, or 30 years from now? And if it’s Omi that you see then ask yourself this, do you really see him by your side as just a friend.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span> stares at his brother for a few seconds before he drops the onigiri in his hand and runs off. Osamu simply ignores him and picks up the onigiri that </span>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span> dropped on his plate. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I really am the smarter twin.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span> ran all the way back to the apartment. He probably could have taken a cab but he couldn’t think. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Love, he thinks, is so weird. It’s shown to be so different in movies and shows. It’s shown to be this magical thing that’s all fireworks and some music in the background and what other cheesy stuff. Maybe, love wasn’t like that for everyone.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe, love was as simple as hot cocoa on a winter evening and looking at the stars.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>When </span>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span> bursts inside the apartment, </span>
  <span>Kiyoomi</span>
  <span> is sitting in front of the kitchen counter, dropping his chopsticks in surprise when he sees </span>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span>. It was evident from his face that he didn’t expect </span>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span> would be back so soon. </span>
  <span>Kiyoomi’s</span>
  <span> laptop was open on the counter. </span>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span> didn’t need to see it to guess that he was most likely looking for places to move to.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyoomi</span>
  <span> opens his mouth but stops when he sees </span>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span> raising his hand to stop him. </span>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  
  <span>clutches</span>
  <span> his side and bends over, wheezing and trying to catch his breath. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did you just run all the way?” </span>
  <span>Kiyoomi</span>
  <span> asked surprised.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Give...me....one...second!” </span>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span> panted.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he was finally done not wanting to vomit his guts out, </span>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span> stood up and looks at Kiyoomi. Really looks at him for the first time. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>God, he really was beautiful. </span>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span> had always known </span>
  <span>Kiyoomi</span>
  <span> was beautiful. He may have been an idiot but not blind. He knew </span>
  <span>Kiyoomi</span>
  <span> was beautiful.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even now when he was dressed in a ratty old </span>
  <span>T-shirt</span>
  <span> and sweatpants with his curls all messy and tangled and rice stuck on the corner of his lips, he was still beautiful. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s you.” </span>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span> finally says. “It’s you I want by my side in 10, 20, and 30 years from now. When I am old and I can no longer play volleyball. When I’m walking on the shore of some beach watching the sunset. When I wake up in the morning and look to my side. It's you. It’s always you.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyoomi</span>
  <span> swallows. He puts down his chopsticks and slowly stands up.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re just saying it </span>
  <span>cause</span>
  <span> you know my feelings.” He shakes his head dismissively. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You said that I claimed to know you better than you know you yourself. Didn’t you say that too? You said you know me better than I know myself. </span>
  <span>So,</span>
  <span> look at me and tell me that I am lying.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyoomi</span>
  <span> slowly looks at </span>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span>, hesitating and wary, not even daring to hope because he doesn’t think he can bear it. </span>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span> smiles at him. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span> smiles because he isn’t lying. Because finally, after years, he has admitted what he has known since he was a child. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>If you asked Miya Atsumu when he fell in love with Sakusa Kiyoomi, then he wouldn’t be able to give you an answer. He thinks he’s been in love with him forever. However, if you ask Miya Atsumu when he realizes he is in love with Sakusa Kiyoomi, he’d tell you that it was when it hit him that nothing scared him more, not even the very idea of losing volleyball, than thinking that when he’d open the door to their home Kiyoomi wouldn’t be there.  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You really mean it?” </span>
  <span>Kiyoomi</span>
  <span> whispers as if he couldn’t believe it.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Atsumu</span>
  <span> doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t think his words would help. So, he does the only thing he can. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He marches over to </span>
  <span>Kiyoomi</span>
  <span>, reaches out to grab his hand, and pulls him in.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>There were no fireworks or sparks when they kissed. It wasn’t like how they said in the movies. Instead, it was warm. Kissing Kiyoomi felt like coming home after a long day of grueling practice. It was warm and comforting. Just like Kiyoomi has always been.  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just like Kiyoomi had always been home to him. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>When they pull away, Kiyoomi’s eyes sparkled with sheer joy. Atsumu had never seen him this happy. Even when he won all those competitions, the collegiate MVP, and the League championship. This was the happiest Sakusa Kiyoomi had ever been and it was because of him. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m home.” Atsumu says. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyoomi laughs and pulls him closer to kiss him again. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Welcome home.”</span>
  
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you all enjoyed my fic! Kudos and comments are appreciated!<br/>Thank you so much!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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